Emotions are a central element of our well-being.

Positive emotions such as enthusiasm, excitement and joy make us feel good. On the other hand, negative emotions like stress, frustration and sadness make us feel bad.

Obviously you don’t want to feel bad and if you could, you would only have positive emotions. The point is that life doesn’t work like that. We ended up feeling a lot of emotions. Both positive and negative.

But is it possible to establish some level of emotional control so that we can feel more positive and less negative emotions?

I want to defend here in this article that yes, this is possible.

If you do not know how to do it, it is because you are part of the vast majority of people who simply live emotions without having control over them.

The Process As It Seems

For most people it works as follows.

An event happens and it generates an emotion in you. Positive or negative.

For example, let’s say you work selling real estate. Then the customer you were trying to sell a huge apartment to closes the purchase. You are automatically super happy because you are going to receive a fat commission.

Now imagine that the customer had canceled the purchase at the last minute. You would automatically be overcome with an emotion of sadness for the lost business.

That is, an external event generates an emotion. Both good and bad depending on the event that occurred.

At first it seems that this is how the issue of emotions works.

In reality, it takes a step further that few people realize.

The Process As It Is

The actual process is slightly different from the one presented earlier.

First comes the event (eg sale of the apartment).

Then there is a second stage, which is the interpretation of the event.

This is an additional step not previously described and which is fundamental in the process.

In this step you interpret the event and give it meaning. If it is a good thing you are happy, if it is a bad thing you are sad.

This stage of thinking is like a filter between the event and the emotion. You probably don’t even realize why it happens so fast. But it’s there.

For example, the event itself (eg sale of the apartment) is neutral in itself. It is neither good nor bad. You who interpret it as a good thing and then for you it becomes a good thing.

Only then is the emotion of happiness generated due to the thought that determined that the event occurred is positive.

In other words, it is not events that generate emotions. It is the thoughts that generate.

How Important is That?

The importance is to realize that we can use this level of interpretation to control our emotions.

For that, we only need to give the appropriate interpretation that we will have a more positive emotion.

In other words, it is not external events that generate our emotions, but ourselves by the interpretation we give to these events.

This is a powerful discovery because it gives us the possibility to work on the way we are going to feel.

We have power over our thoughts and our interpretation. We are the ones who give the interpretation we want to the fact.

Therefore, if we give a positive interpretation we will have positive emotions in return and if we give a negative interpretation we will have negative emotions.

And that is how it is possible to control emotions.

But then, you may ask, “How am I going to give a positive interpretation to a negative event? If it is a negative event, it is natural for me to interpret it as being negative and it is natural for me to feel a negative emotion. ”

This is where your level of personal development comes in.

You can give a more positive interpretation to the countless situations. You need to find out how.

Let’s go back to the example of the realtor who did not close the sale of the apartment.

He can interpret the loss of the business as disastrous. He thinks he has no way of working with it, he gets depressed and he can’t work properly the rest of the week. He begins to consider even changing careers.

On the other hand, you can give a more positive interpretation by trying to learn lessons about what happened by weighing things like: “Why didn’t you close the sale? What can I do differently next time? ”

Then he seeks to discuss with colleagues and uses opportunity as a source of learning. With that you feel more confident for the next times.

Put into practice that phrase that I like a lot and it is attributed to Thomas Edison: “I didn’t fail. I only discovered 10,000 ways that don’t work. ” .

Learning to control the emotional is not easy. In times of great pressure, anger and stress we can go blind.

But it is necessary to learn to calm the nerves , take the focus away from the emotion a little and bring more awareness to the level of interpretation.

Thus, it is possible to work better in the way of seeing the fact and, consequently, in the way of feeling about it.

You have to take responsibility for the emotions you want to feel instead of just letting them take you where you want.

Easy isn’t it. It takes a lot of practice. At the beginning, the level of awareness about this part of the interpretation is very low. You have to practice a lot to notice it when a feeling arises.

The best thing is to know that it is possible to have more control of emotions and you can do that. For this you need to decide if you will continue to feed the negative emotion or change the focus to a more positive one that will bring more emotional balance and better results.

Assuming this control will undoubtedly bring much more quality to your life.

And if you want to deepen your learning on the subject take a look at this Guide: Invest In Yourself.